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Male Escort for hire
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Ladies! Are you single? Are you lonely? Are you carrying some weight and therefore unable to attract a man? When you go to bed at night do you pray for a man instead of trying to help starving children in Africa?
Wait no more, because Sad Muppet Male Relationship Agency is here to help.
Sad Muppet Male Relationship Agency provides not only an escort, but ALL the extras that come along with being with a man.
The problem with most escort agencies is that their escort will merely escort the client to her company’s yearend function, for example, and leave her with a happy ending. This is unrealistic.
Sad Muppet Male Relationship Agency provides a more realistic escort agency.
I will not only escort you to your yearend function, but I will also get horrendously drunk and embarrass you in front of your boss. When you eventually drag me home, I will pass out in a pool of my own vomit.
Furthermore, part of my realistic duties will be to:
- Get you to cook and clean for me
- Leave the toilet seat up
- Watch sport all day while drinking beer
- Unsatisfying sex
- Burp and fart
- Flirt with your sister
- Keep you awake with my snoring
- Never show appreciation
- Mock your stupid girly ways
- Fuck your grandmother
- Make you watch action films with me
And
- Forget important dates
Book now! First twenty customers get naked photos taken of themselves and the photos shown to all my friends.
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