Talking Bullocks

This is how I rate dinner party fanciness. The three levels are:
- wine from a box: Standard dinner party
- wine from a bottle with a screw-off top: Fancy dinner party
- wine from a bottle with a cork in it: Very fancy dinner party (the queen might attend).

I was recently at a very fancy dinner party. People were drinking corked wine and very few people were wearing jeans. By about the second glass of wine, the women folk, who had finished cooking for the men and therefore were allowed to mingle with the other guests, started talking about female celebrities they'd sleep with.

Some of the women were surprised by the others' choices, but the strange thing was that they all agreed that they'd sleep with Sandra Bullock. This seemed strange, as I'm sure most men would probably like to bang her, she's not really at the top of many of men's lists. So why are women so attracted to Sandra?

The reason, as was explained to me by the women, is that she comes across as nice and she does a lot of work for charity.

Yes this is what women look for in a one night stand, celebrity, lesbian fantasy - a solid history of charity work.

Is this the real reason why celebrities do charity. It's that hope that non-celebrity women will find their charity work arousing. Is this why Angelina Jolie adopts orphans? A few years ago, Angelina would have struggled to pull a fifty year old housekeeper in Middlesex, but thanks to some Aids charity gigs in sub-Sahara Africa, women all around the world are considering adding her to their lists.

Can you imagine a group of men having a similar conversation?
John - Jessica Alba is so hot. I'd love to nail her.
Mike - Yeah! She's fit all right. I wonder how much she gives to charity.
Pete - I hear she's a supporter of PETA.
John - So what. All celebrities say they support PETA, but how many of them really get involved?
Mike - That's a good point. Many celebrities merely show up at charity functions because it increases their PR, but are they actually helping.
Pete - I think that they're bringing awareness to the campaign, by being at such a function.
John - True, but they're not really going out of their way to make the world a better place, are they?
Mike - So it's agreed then. None of us will sleep with Jessica Alba, until she makes a significant contribution to charity.
Pete - So which celebrity can we nail?
John - Well, Oprah gives millions to charity every year and Madonna is always doing great work in Africa.
Mike - Oprah it is then!

On the other hand, Brad Pitt does do a lot for charity along with Anglina. Should I add him to my list?