Scatroulette

Kids have it so easy nowadays. Everything seems to be handed to them on a plate. (Are these clichèd opening lines for a blog?)

Anyway, while watching South Park recently, a website called chatroulette was mentioned as a place you can go to make new friends. The idea behind this website is that you log-in with a microphone and web-cam and you are randomly assigned to other users who are also logged in. You therefore might end up chatting to a plumber in New Zealand or a king in Nigeria. South Park however made out as though it's mostly made up of dirty old men having a wank.

As I was home that Saturday night, ignoring all the phone calls and texts messages from hot women begging me to come out and play with them, I decided to log-in to chatroulette, to see if I could make a friend.

It turns out that South Park wasn't exaggerating. Cock after wanking cock flopped past my screen as I searched for a friend who didn't just see me as a piece of meat. I almost felt sorry for these losers who had nothing better to do than wank to pictures of random strangers on the Internet. How sad does your life have to be to do this?

Anyway, after about three weeks on chatroullete I finally met somebody who wasn't having a wank. It was a couple of young girls of about thirteen and we chatted pleasantly for a bit.

Sad muppet: Hi
Young girls: Hi
Sm: Where you from?
Yg: Oz. U?
Sm: UK.
Yg: Show us your cock.

WHAT??!! How can two sweet, young, innocent, girls have said such a disgusting thing? How had society become so openly sexual to young girls that they demanded to see cock on demand?

Did I grow up in a different universe? When I was thirteen, I couldn't just switch on a computer and demand to see cock. I had to steal alcohol from my dad's liquor-cabinet. Sneak out of my room late at night. Head towards the crime-ridden part of town. Find a homeless man living in a dark alley and bribe him with the booze before I got to see any cock.

I was so upset I almost didn't show them my cock.