A short history in spanking

I grew up in the evil old South Africa where all white people were racists and the minority white government treated its citizens like they lived in the 1950s.

Corporal punishment was used in all schools to prevent children from misbehaving, or talking to one another if a teacher was talking, or if we weren't standing in a queue in single file, or if the teacher was having his/her period.

This was just standard procedure back then and I never really thought, "Hey, wait a minute. I'm a ten year old boy, who is currently being caned on my pert buttocks, by an adult, just because I didn't do my homework. I wonder if this is wrong on some sort of level?"



Once I finished school I was no longer subjected to corporal punishment, because as an "adult" I no longer needed physical violence to motivate me to do my homework.

But then in the 1990s something very strange happened. A bunch of hippies got together and said, "Dude, why are adults molesting children in schools?" And the government said "Look at me. I'm a government." Not really but the government abolished corporal punishment in schools anyway.

So now only parents could beat up their own children in the privacy of their own homes or in public.



But soon public child beatings became frowned upon by mister general public, even though it was perfectly legal. Parents started to feel ashamed of beating their children in their local supermarket, even if their children were annoying.

So naughty children were only being beaten up at home and only by blood relatives or an evil step-mother/father.



With the invention of Oprah, spanking children became almost obsolete in western culture. Naughty children were now free of physical violence for not doing their homework or answering back, which is ironic.

But as the children beatings were being diminished, adults spanking became more and more popular. This wasn't the same type of spanking. This was spanking for sexual gratification.

Grown men were paying women to spank them. Sigmund Freud, who was a German sex offender, believed that sexual gratification through spanking was due to an adult trying to relive childhood memories about one's mother.



But then it wasn't just men who wanted to be spanked. As television started to show more and more realty TV shows, there wasn't anything else to do at home, besides read a book or get your partner to blindfold you, tie you up and give you a good spanking.

Spanking wasn't punishment anymore, but a reward for being sexy.



In short, we can see a curve in the timeline.
1980s - Naughty boys ages 6 to 18 - spanked for being naughty.
1990s - Dirty old men ages 30 to 60 - spanked for being dirty.
2000s - Hot young ladies ages 18 to 29 - spanked for being sexy.

So now we've reached 2010 and I'm considered in the wrong for wanting to spank little girls for their own sexual gratification, when we can all see where we're going.

Parents in playgrounds are so closed minded.

Unique Clique

Hollywood has so often forced teenage stereotypes cliques down our throats that we feel that we ought to belong to a group of people in order to express one's individuality.

The standard groups are:
Jocks
Geeks
Nerds
Punks
Preps
Sluts
Goths

But there are many people out there who don't fit into any of these categories. One of these people is my friend Brian. Brian always felt like an outsider. He could never quite fit in with the stereotypes. He was unique for not be able to express his individuality in a group of friends who were just like him.

Until one day he heard about a new clique that had been born. They didn't fit into any of the above categories, because they were different to everybody else, just like Brian.

Overjoyed that Brian would finally be able to fit in, he did some research on the internet about their style and unique look that they all look like.

He went clothes shopping and the next day at school joined up with his new clique.















Poor Brian didn't know the difference between an ostrich and an emu and looked quite silly.

Hardcore marketing

Shopping on Amazon is amazing! It tells you what you want without you knowing that you want it.

The other night I was shopping for a cook book to read and when I clicked on the product, Amazon suggested a few other related products that I might be interested in. People who enjoy reading a good cooking book, might also enjoy a Star Wars paperback and three pairs of Aviator sunglasses. Yes! I would like a Star Wars paperback and I would look so cool in Aviator sunglasses!




On the other hand, my yahoo email account seems to be bombarded with poor related market advertising.



I know! Why would Yahoo think I need to improve my golf swing?

Being enraged

My fiancée deserves the best man leading up to our wedding, so I've done some research on what it means to be engaged.

Engaged:
- Involved in conflict or battle.

So now I have an idea of what I've let myself into. I was living under the illusion that being engaged would mean nice romantic things like flowers and chocolates and alcohol and Rohypnol and love. Good thing I haven't ever bought her any flowers and chocolates.


Further research revealed the following:



So basically being engaged is like going to war, but you're not allowed to have a poo.

That's the worst kind of war.