Would you rather...

A fun way of getting to know your partner better is by playing the "would you rather" game with them. The point of the game is to give the person two options and they must choose one. For instance, would you rather have chocolate mousse or cheesecake? Simple enough, but then a few days ago, I had the following conversation with Mrs Sad Muppet:

Me - Would you rather skydive or bungee jump?

MSM - Bungee jump. Would you rather take a cock in your arse or have a guy shit in your mouth?

Me - WHAT?!

MSM - Would you rather take a cock in your arse or have a guy shit in your mouth?

Me - Neither!

MSM - You have to choose one. That's the rule of the game.

Me - No. You're supposed to entice the person with two possible enjoyable things to do.

MSM - You might enjoy a cock in your arse or shit in your mouth.

Me - I'm confident I won't.

MSM - I'm confident that I won't enjoy either skydiving or bungee jumping, yet you made me choose!

Me - At least they are two family friendly options.

MSM - Fine. Would you rather have your brother fuck you in the arse or have him shit in your mouth?

Me - That's not family friendly!

MSM - Why not? There's family and he's being very friendly with you.

Me - Family friendly as in you could ask the question in front of little children. Like this. Would you rather own a VW Golf or a Toyota Corolla?

MSM - Would you rather have a VW Golf or let your brother shit in your mouth!

Me - No! That's not family friendly!

MSM - You're still complaining? I think it's interesting that you still can't choose between those two options. You're sick!

Me - That's not the point. One option was decent. The other was disgusting.

MSM - What have you got against VW Golfs?

Me - I'll give you another example. Would you rather work for the Queen of England or the President of the USA?

MSM - Queen! Okay, I think I understand it. Would you rather be stuck in a lift for four hours with Andre Agassi or stuck in a traffic jam for four hours with Sylvester Stallone?

Me - That's it! Now you're getting the point. Hmmm... I'll choose Agassi.

MSM - But he's naked and he's got a massive hard-on and he's going to fuck you with it.

Me - What?

MSM - And then he's going to shit in your mouth.

Me - Why?

MSM - It's his thing!

Me - What if I chose Stallone?

MSM - Nothing. You would have just sat in the car, waiting for the traffic jam to clear.

Me - Can I change my mind?

MSM - Too late. You've made your choice. Pervert!

Me - Oh.



I can't believe she's still with me. I'm such a lucky guy.