Lifeless flashing

This morning, as I was preparing to go to work, my kitten attacked me and my life flashed before my eyes.

I've heard this term used before, but I've never actually experienced it. It happened in a flash (hence the term), but I made out most of the details. I presume that in times of near certain death, the human mind likes to relive the highlights.

The following events were the highlights of my life:
- Three years old, I rode a tricycle.
- Six years old, I punched a girl for the first time.
- Sixteen years old, my first kiss.
- Twenty three years old, my first kiss with a living person.
- Thirty one years old, Xbox.
- Thirty three years old, coming second in monopoly.

That's it.

I didn't swim with dolphins. I didn't climb Mount Everest. I didn't murder a prostitute. I didn't find a cure for cancer. I didn't build one of the wonders of the world with my bare hands. I didn't push an old lady down some stairs.

At least I've jumped on a kitten's head.