How to pick up chicks - lesson 3

Making the first move

As was previously stated, the hunt is always on, whether it’s at work, waiting for the your train or doing some grocery shopping. Always be ready.

There are however certain “hotspots” that make the hunt easier and there are certain times when it’s inappropriate to be hunting.

I will list a few situations in order for you to guess which situation is a good time to be hunting and when to be resting. Your answers will give you a good indication on how well you’ve been doing in your studies.

When should you be hunting?
- Job interview
- Funeral
- Visiting your gran in hospital
- Contesting a restraining order in court
- While having sexual intercourse with your girlfriend/wife

The correct answer to the above question is, all of them except for number four, “Contesting a restraining order in court”. This is one of the few occasions when you have to try and restrain the animal that is your sexual predatory skills.

Even a hot female judge will not find it favourable for you to wink at her and rub your crotch while some misguided young lady accuses you of trying to sneak doughnuts into “fat camp” for her, in exchange for sexual favours… for example.

The other four options are great hotspots for picking up chicks.

The job interview is an obvious choice, as one isn’t trying to sell one’s education or working skills to the prospective employer, but instead selling one’s penis to a prospective mouth. I’m not suggesting that you whip it out during the interview (unless it’s going REALLY well), but instead treat the interview as though it’s a singles bar. A job interview’s can be a nerve-wracking experience and a few drinks before and during the interview won’t hurt anybody. I’ve literally been to hundreds of interviews and I’ve never left an interview sober.

Some eyebrows might be raised at the thought that a funeral is considered a hotspot for hunting, but funerals are actually the new “speed dating” of the new millennium. There’s a lot of emotion that goes on at funerals and many women sometimes need a lap to cry on. A woman’s weeping eyes can also make you look more attractive than you really are. Many men are able get women into bed after the women have just come out of relationships. They are emotionally fragile and susceptible to a sympathetic “ear”. Well a dead husband is the ultimate end of a relationship. How can one miss?

Count your lucky stars if you’ve just found out that your gran has been hospitalised because you’re practically eighty percent of the way into getting some action. Make sure to buy a box of condoms for yourself while getting a box of chocolates for your poor diabetic gran who’s knocking on death’s door, because the hospital is designed for sex! Sympathetic nurses and patients wearing paper towels while heavily medicated makes for easy pickings. Always remember to swing round the maternity ward while visiting, because you KNOW those bitches put out!

Finally another good time to be hunting is while having sex. As most of you probably know, women usually sleep during sex, which is the prefect time to make some phone calls to prospective prey. Your prey will be most impressed that you happen to be thinking of them while you are having intimate relations with your girlfriend/wife/prostitute and will look on you favourably from that moment on.