Designing paint colours

My girlfriend and I bought a house together last year and I think it's a nice house. It's very house shaped and has a garden and there are rooms and stuff.

However, when we went out to dinner and talked about the house to friends, my girlfriend kept on telling people that there's still a lot of work that needs to be done to it. More specifically, she said that the rooms weren't really done to our taste. Yes, OUR taste. I don't remember us having this conversation, but I'm sure we had it because she tells people that we are planning on painting soon. Yes, WE will be painting soon.

Anyway "we" decided that we will go to one of these giant paint shops and choose some paint for our bedroom. Our bedroom looks fine to me, but apparently "we" aren't happy with it. So "we" had to change it.

So what colour were we going to choose? Red, blue, green, yellow or black? I think those are all the colours but the paint shop apparently has something like seven hundred different colours to choose from.

As I live in a democracy, the choosing of the paint would be a shared decision between my girlfriend and myself.

This is how a democracy works. My girlfriend ignores all my thoughts on what colour I'd like and then tells me what colour we're going to have. I told her that this wasn't really fair so she said that she will narrow the choice down to three colours and then I can choose any colour out of the three colours she chooses. This doesn't seem like much, but it's better than nothing. So I agreed to these terms.

She then chose three whites. I pointed out to her that she's chosen three whites, but she looked at me as though I'm an idiot and told me that they are three different shades of whites. They even had three stupid names to help distinguish them. The three colours I had to choose from were "Pearl necklace 3", "Fresh corpse 7" and "Incestuous sperm 2".

I was unable to distinguish between the three colours, but felt that it was important that I showed the girlfriend that I was taking my decision seriously. So I put on my serious face. Commented about how each colour would go with the carpet and finally and proudly said, "Pearl necklace 3". She then went to the paint counter and ordered "Fresh corpse 7".

I don't know what she would do without me.