It's one of the big questions. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Am I here to make the world a better place? Should I go to India and feed the starving street children?
I have recently discovered that this is all bollocks.
To discover why you're here, you need to understand your body. A few months ago a cricket ball smacked me in the head and I broke my nose as well as cracking my skull. An ambulance was sent out to ask me how much pain I was in. (The ambulance didn't actually ask the question. One of the medics in the ambulance asked the question. If an ambulance had asked me questions I would have thought that I had broken my head.)
Anyway I told the ambulance, as well as the medic, that out of a rating of ten, my pain factor was a three. So this is the yard stick of measuring one's self worth. My brain box bone was broken and I was in mild pain.
Skip forward to a few months later and I was doing some odd jobs around the house, like cleaning out the loft with my ears and painting the ceiling with a cat's tail. Very odd, now that I think about it. So while I was crawling around the loft in the dark I walked into a beam, testicle first.
If an ambulance and a medic had been dispatched to ask me the pain measurement question, I would have told them that my pain factor out of ten, was ten. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. My eyes were watering. I felt like vomiting.
So on a pain factor, I have discovered that one of my testicles is more than three times more important to my body than my brain.
So I have learnt that if I go to India one day and I happen to meet some starving street children, I shouldn't feed them. I should fuck them.
1 comment:
Must have been a pretty large bean then. Was it a french one, or a runner one?
Nice Kate x
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