True Romance

I have recently done a survey, which looked at the differences in how men and women view relationships.

There appears to be five distinct groups of relationships and the different sexes view them differently.

Being Single:
Women - The majority of women, when going out to clubs or pubs, are desperately trying to meet a life partner. Quite often they just end up having a one night stand, but even after he's told her that she's fat and smells and thrown her out of his apartment after sex, a small part of her feels like he was a nice guy and that she could change him for the better.

Men - The majority of men go out to clubs and pubs with their mates to get pissed. If they're able to pick up a slag at the end of the night, all the better.

The short term-relationship
(First date for women. Two years for men.):

Women - Throughout the first date, she will be measuring him up as her life partner.

Men - Throughout the first date, he will be measuring up the size of her breasts.

Women - She will want to connect with him on a spiritual level.

Men - He will want to connect with her while level after too many spirits.

Women - She can't wait to tell her friends that she thinks she's found the one.

Men - He can't wait to tell her friends that he thinks they could have some fun.

Women - Stops looking at other men as potential partners.

Men - Stops looking at other women, while his girlfriend is looking directly at him.

The long-term relationship
(Women - Second date until engagement. Men - A minimum of two year, to life):

Women - They will attempt to sculpt him into the perfect partner. If she feels that he drinks too much and stays out too late with his friends after work, she will attempt to break his spirit with constant reminders of their love.

Men - They will attempt to drink too much and stay out late with his friends after work to escape her constant nagging.

Women - They drop subtle hints about marriage.

Men - They will drop subtle hints about threesomes with her hottest friend.

Women - They only look at other men to compare their inferiority to their beloved.

Men - They only look at other women because they want to fuck them.

Being engaged

Women - Their thoughts about planning for the big day are all consuming. They can't focus on simple tasks like being nice or driving.

Men - They have a license to sleep around before they have to settle down.
Although his fiancee doesn't say it, she expects him to sleep with at least one stripper at his bachelor party.

Being married

Women - Their life ambition has been fulfilled. She can now sit back and get fat and watch soap operas.

Men - Their lives are over.


* The above survey does not apply to all people. Some women are lesbians and some men enjoy romantic comedies.