How to pick up chicks - lesson 6

Fuglies

The supreme hunter can usually have his pick of the finest meat in a herd, but sometimes it’s the slow running, back of the herd, beaten with an ugly stick piece of meat that’s easiest to pick off.

In pubs and clubs they are easy to recognize. They usually stand out like a sore thumb. A sore, overweight, badly dressed, uncomfortable, shy looking thumb.

One must understand that the fugly has low self-esteem due to their lack of confidence. They have very little experience with dealing with men and generally keep to themselves. They feel that they aren’t as pretty as the other girls and therefore don’t give themselves much chance of getting a man’s attention in a social scene. All this can be exploited to serve the hunter’s needs.

The fugly will usually be in the pub or club with a group of friends. Once you’ve zeroed in on the fugly, you should approach her in a confident manner, ignoring the other girls that she’s with in the group and open with an appropriate line like, “Wow, you’re really fat and ugly.”

The fugly usually has such low self esteem that she won’t stick up for herself and one of her friends will stick up for her, but it’s important to shoot the friend down immediately with, “Excuse me, but I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to your fat ugly friend. You’re not nearly as repulsive looking as your friend and therefore have a chance of getting another male’s attention, but I’m here to talk to your friend, elephant girl, if you don’t mind.”

As the friend has already shown that she tried to stick up for her fugly friend, she’ll be pleased to drop it as she’s actually embarrassed to be in public with a fugly and is pleased that somebody else is there to talk to her. Nobody likes a fugly, not even their friends.

With the friend gone, you can continue to charm the fugly by pointing out how fugly she actually is. The problem with some fuglies is that they seem to think that they’re not really that bad looking or that they might feel that their fun loving personality might make up for what they lack in looks. It’s best to set them straight. It’s important to note that fuglies have feelings and emotions, almost like real people.

If you’re brave enough, give her a hug when she starts to cry her fugly tears. This takes a lot of will power on the hunter’s side, as normal people might see you hugging a fugly in public. After the tears have slowed, she will thank you for being so truthful with her and that’s when you suggest how she can repay you.

Remember that the true hunter is also a gentleman and should therefore ask the fugly if she wants the paper bag for her head to have holes for her eyes.