When I was a child, I was introduced to the dangers of the world through song.
One of the songs I was taught was that shanty classic, "What shall we do with a drunken sailor".
As an adult you can't just go around telling children to watch out for drunken sailors early in the morning. You have to break the news to them in such a way that doesn't seem too threatening, but nevertheless, they need to be mindful of these things.
A UK government funded charity however is trying to change the lyrics to this classic piece of education to, "What shall we do with a grumpy pirate".
Just how many children actually go yachting off the coast of Somalia that an entire nation needs to be aware that this needs to be considered for life training?
As a child I was prepared to see off the dangers of a drunken sailor by either:
Put him in the long boat till he's sober
or
Put him in bed with the captain's daughter
or
Beat him with a cat 'til his back is bleedin'
or
Shave his balls with a rusty razor
These are essential life skills that the children of today will be missing out on, unless they're attacked by a grumpy pirate and I would not recommend beating a grumpy pirate with a cat. They fucking hate that.
The other problem is that kids today are spoilt. Parents let their kids walk the street with clean, new razors and from my experience and training that's not going to stop a drunken sailor.
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