15 Jason Robinson vs Percy Montgomery
Jason has developed from being a fine beer into a fine wine. He’s more expensive than beer and not as gassy.
Percy is like supermodel. Great hair, great legs and has a few restraining orders against me.
Even
14 Paul Sackey vs Bryan Habana
When Paul was first chosen for England, many England supporters were downhearted and felt depressed. It turns out it had nothing to do with Paul. That’s just the way they are.
A lot has been talked about how Bryan races against cheetahs back in SA. What people fail to mention is that Bryan lost 2 out of those 3 races. He’s not so fast after all.
Adv Boks
13 Mathew Tait vs Jaque Fourie
They say that dynamite come in small packages. I for one think that’s disgusting. Why can’t dynamite find some old woman in a coma like normal people do?
Jaque is a very humble young man. His insight into Fijian rugby was an eye-opener. He undoubtedly respects what England have achieved over the last four years.
Even
12 Mike Catt vs Francois Steyn
Mike brings experience to the England backline. Lots of it. Tons in fact. Fuck me, he’s old! But he’s from Port Elizabeth, so he’s probably a great guy.
A lot has been said about Francois’s age. He’s been described as one for the future. But as the saying goes “If you’re good enough, you’re old enough.” Unfortunately, a catholic priest came up with that saying.
Adv England
11 Mark Cueto vs JP Pietersen
Mark’s undoubted talent has been spotted on the training fields and has forced his way back into this powerful England team.
JP has had to live in Habana’s shadow throughout this tournament. That probably sounds racist, so I apologise.
Even
10 Jonny Wilkinson vs Butch James
Jonny has single-handedly turned this England team around from playing boring ten man rugby in their first two pool matches into the dynamic attacking, running fifteen man team it is today.
Butch’s overconfidence might well be his downfall. He thinks he’s so great, he quite often plays without even using his arms.
Adv England
9 Andy Gomarsall vs Fourie du Preez
Matt Dawson has publicly asked for Andy’s passport to be torn up after consistently putting in great performance one after the other. It’s just not English!
Fourie has been one of the Boks stand out players, even though he’s played behind a pack that’s consistently gone backwards and a backline that just aimlessly kicks the ball away. In fact it’s probably difficult for him to not be a stand out player with the shit players around him.
Adv Boks
8 Nick Easter vs Danie Rossouw
Nick has been a revelation since being included in the England team. His sense of sarcasm and digs at the press have been brilliant during interviews.
Danie is a number eight from the old school. What he lacks in pace and flair, he makes up for with bad handling skills and lack of intelligent play.
Adv England
7 Lewis Moody vs Schalk Burger
Almost all English rugby journalists have written about the fact that Lewis isn’t an openside flanker. Lucky for England, Lewis can’t read.
Schalk has been solid since returning from his two match suspension for trying kill the IRB’s sense of smug self-satisfaction.
Adv Boks
6 Martin Corry vs Juan Smith
Martin is one of those players who isn’t in the limelight as much as many of his teammates. He doesn’t have the aerial skills of Moody, or the deft off loading touches of Shaw, but somebody has to the tough jobs, like giving the guys rubdowns and washing the mud off their boots after the game.
Juan has been outstanding. Even when he’s tried to rip opposition players’ heads off, his look of innocence and regret has been first class.
Adv Boks
5 Ben Kay vs Victor Matfield
Ben has been like Martin Johnson during this world cup. He’s given lots of interviews and talked about “the lads” a lot.
Victor took twenty minutes to figure out Argentina’s line-out in the semi-finals. It’s amazing that an Afrikaaner can make the calls “front” or “back” in such a short space of time. A true great of the game.
Adv Boks
4 Simon Shaw vs Bakkies Botha
Simon has lifted his game to new heights. That’s a lock joke. Another lock joke – Ali Williams.
Bakkies continues to play the game on the edge. He’s the brute force that frees up the finesse players like Burger and Roussouw.
Adv England
3 Phil Vickery vs Os du Randt
Phil’s captaincy for the world cup was assured as soon as the Sun figured out that they could use the headline “Phil Victory”. The back-up plan of using “More Tin Corry” seemed too disrespectful for the RWC trophy.
Twelve years ago, Os was considered a poor scrummager. Now in 2007, the Os we knew from twelve years ago has lost quite a bit of hair.
Adv England
2 Mark Regan vs John Smit
Mark is a feisty character who has been inspired by the players around him. I haven’t seen a grown man cry so much since Dallaglio during the national anthems.
John has led his players from the front. Unfortunately that front has been going backwards against the England and Argentinian scrums.
Adv Boks
1 Andrew Sheridan vs CJ van der Linde
Andrew is considered a tough guy on the field but a quiet soft-spoken man off it. Of course his quiet unassuming smile is quite off putting when you see pieces of the Australian front row stuck between his teeth.
A lot of people have criticised CJ for spending too much time between the centres or on the wing. Most of these critics have been the Bok centres and the wings who also don’t want to go scrum against Sheridan.
Adv England
England – 6
Boks – 6
Even – 3
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