Queuing pains

Women love shopping, because they're stupid.

I can't think of any other reason why they would enjoy spending time in a place where all staff members are on minimum wage and you have to compete for your purchases against the dreaded general public.

I hate the general public. They’re rude. They smell. They cry to mummy if you touch them there. They’re weak!

Clothes shopping for men is simple. Go into shop look for jeans in your size. Take jeans to cashier. Give cashier money. Walk out of shop. This is what must be done, even if the man is shopping for a new shirt. Jeans are simpler. Deal with it. I own many jeans.

But clothes shops are relatively simple compared to supermarkets. For the love of God, why are so many stupid people drawn to supermarkets?

These aren’t just conventionally stupid people. These are people who meander up and down the aisles staring off into space, ignoring other shoppers. They are fascinated by household detergents. They gawk at vegetables as if they’re recognising a long distant relative, which appears to be a fair reflection on the situation. If you’re standing behind them and waiting for them to move out of the way and softly suggest to them that they either put the fucking carrots in their trolley or move along, they look at you as though you’re the rude one. It’s bizarre.

If this isn’t bad enough, here’s another great idea for mums to do while shopping. Bring the fucking kids! Especially if they’re still toddlers. Hooray. I’m sure they’ll behave. I’m sure they won’t be a nuisance.

There should be a law passed which allows shoppers to kick children in supermarkets if they’re not in a one meter radius of their parent.

To top off one’s shopping experience at the supermarket is the queuing behind brain dead fucks, for thirty minutes to pay for your shopping.

If I’m in a queue with at least three people in it, I can rest assured that one of the people ahead of me will want to discuss the price of certain objects with the cashier before paying. This person will also not pack their bags until all the items have been rung up by the cashier and this person will want to pay by cash. Not just any cash, but the exact fucking amount to the last fucking penny, which the person keeps in a very small purse at the bottom of his/her handbag. This person will also only start looking for this purse after the full amount has been rung up. I fucking hate these people.

My precious life is ticking by because stupid people are fucking stupid.

NO I DIDN’T BRING MY OWN BAGS! GIVE ME SOME FUCKING PLASTIC SO THAT I CAN KILL THIS WORLD WITH ALL ITS STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE IN IT.